The Fear of Failure

Adaptation of above image illustrating an Inte...
The thought of failing is already fearful.

Who is not afraid to fail?

They say that the above-average intellectual people have low frustration tolerance. I cannot say that I belong to this group of smart people, but I could admit that I can barely tolerate frustration. I am so weak in handling failure. I am afraid to fail.

Failing again a quiz in Linguistics this early morning is making me nuts for the whole day. I know I have not given my best – of course, but still there is no excuse, no justifications – ever. Failure is failure. If I have only listened well in our former class and reviewed my notes, things for sure would not have been this way. I could have not attained a high grade, but still I could pass it.

Being a BSEd student is really a challenge. Eighty-five should be the lowest grade in all subjects. Getting lower than that in even a single subject is a heavy load already. It could never be. But it happens.

My last semester last school year was just a test for me. I didn’t know until now, why I did pass. God gave me a rating of 1.83 for the whole semester, and I take that as a sign that maybe, He wants me really to study again. Ouch. Thanks, I am really grateful, but a part of me says I am already tired of studying all these years.

Am I a people pleaser? Many are looking upon me, so I could not fail. But of course I am much more capable of failing than succeeding – on my own. I could be a winner, but that would only be by God’s Grace. His grace alone.

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